I have a few best friends…
But my main go to has always been and always will be Beth. I met her at school.
I couldn’t tell you. There’s no handbook to called “Finding the man who made you after not remembering him for almost 19 years”. I don’t feel as if that something has been lost and now found. I have no emotional connections to this man. I didn’t know his name or face. I didn’t even know why he left. He now has a massive beautiful family with his wife. He used to live five minutes from me when I was a kid.
Also, I never ever have went looking for this guy. I’ve always had the view that if he hasn’t tried to fight for his kid and be in it’s life then he’s probably not worth the birth certificate his name is on. So I’m finding this very difficult.
Imagine living your life not knowing a particular person exists and they can tell you things about your self that are things you don’t know about yourself and things only you would really know. It’s a really scary process. It’s overwhelming and confusing.
It’s not fun and joyful for me.
Just about the part of life I have no memory of. Stuff to do with never knowing who my father was- and receiving the news he had been searching for me and had found me, wanted to talk to me.
I’ve not made a personal post in soooo long because of how busy I have been. Sorry guys.
But if you are interested, everything in the flat is going perfect. There is nothing negative about my new life to report so that is excellent. I have been at University for a week now and I am already in love with it, currently gearing up for week two. My new life schedule is busy busy busy and suddenly adult but I am coping fantastically oddly enough. Hopefully this stays fairly consistent.
I have made some new friends, all of which very different but all with similar interests to myself. This is very refreshing and I am feeling confident about these growing relationships. The work load is already massive as it’s known as a ‘professional course’…I may explain it in due course.
Anyway, I hope everybody is well and feel free to drop me a message. Hopefully my blog use will become more frequent.